Well how 'bout that!!! Looks like we made it through the first quarter. Oh my, there were pros & cons, but which outweighed the other? Man I ask some tough questions when i'm talking to myself lol. Won't tell it all because we'd be here all day & this is already gonna be LONG... But I can share most of it, so let’s see if we can try to sum it all up...

In the fashionably unfashionable tradition of starting the New Year off with drama, my studio microphone (aka- what I use to record ALL my vocals) went out in December, right on cue (as I was preparing to begin working on some new material to be released by January). The timing could not have been worse as everyone at the repair shop was out of town for the holidays & would not return to full staffing until early January. To make matters worse, the repair shop was located out of state, so I would need to ship it & shipping came up to $75 or so (since I had to ship it in the original case with all accessories included [in the event that they needed to replace the entire thing]). Nonetheless, they had people there to receive incoming items & I wanted to get the ball rolling. So I sent it off & crap hit the fan. They took their time, & after a week or so, I couldn't take it anymore. I bought another mic in hopes of returning it once I got mine back. The mic I bought was dropped off at someone’s house two blocks down, with no signature (won't say which shipping company, but I was livid). A supervisor tracked it down (after I called about 12 times), he brought it to my door, & after all that I pulled the mic out & came to find out that it was in used/damaged condition (bought it "new"). This was on Christmas Eve & instead of spending time recording some vocals, I had to jump through monkey hoops with an American "Musical Instrument" Company that shall remain nameless. In the end, my bank saved my tail & put the money back in my account, but at this point I was once again "micless" as mine was still at the shop. As I continued to wait, I bought another one from another company & THAT one arrived damaged. At this point, I was EXTREMELY livid (as one might understand). I sent that one back & just decided that I would go without recording until I had MY mic back, since I kept running into incompetence. In the end, the repair shop advised that the capsule was shot on my mic, & they sent me a brand-new one, free of charge. Sad that it took all that, but I was just glad to have my mic back.

As the microphone situation was finally resolved, I entered the first quarter of 2014 with the mindset that I wanted to do music fulltime (no exceptions, no more delays). Despite limited resources, I marched toward the finish line, buying and selling various items in order to get closer to the position I would like to be in for studio work as well as live shows. Being a perfectionist makes this process tricky because you want the best gear but have to stay within a budget. Unfortunately, it is common knowledge that staying within a certain budget means you take a chance on sacrificing sound quality &/or reliability (when it comes to music equipment). You have to find a balance, a middle ground, & it's not easy. But I was determined, & i'm much closer than I was in January. After years of being what I call a "gear junkie", I finally learned how to tell the difference between "wants" & "needs" when it comes to music equipment & this was a MAJOR step I needed to take towards completing this process once & for all.

I was approached by a gentleman who expressed interest in "managing" my career. He first contacted me online back in November, I told him I was still "licking my wounds" from a prior management deal that went bad, & he politely waited as I continued my process of recovering & pulling some things together with the New Year vastly approaching. Unlike the last situation, this guy was LOCAL, which would definitely be much more convenient in the event that I decided to work with him. During the last week in December, we finally met face-to-face. He was young, very friendly/upbeat, sharp & seemed like he had great energy. More than anything, he was a CHRISTIAN, which would be nothing less than an answer to a prayer as far as someone who would ultimately (God-willing) end up managing my career. That's a CRITICAL role that can make or break a career, so if there’s any person on your team who you need to select carefully, it would be your manager. I had an experience roughly a year ago with a guy who was clueless, & thankfully I knew my way around paperwork well enough to have a way out of the contract (in case of non-performance on his end). Although I was able to get out, it yet still left a bad taste in my mouth which would make it quite difficult for me to trust the next one. After our first face-to-face meeting, nothing was set in stone. Even so, he offered to set me up on a gig (unpaid house party, but good exposure) & I accepted it as I wanted to "ease" back into performing after working in Corporate America for a couple years (which kept me off the stage for a year or so as I kept getting stuck working night shifts). I wanted to get my feet wet as far as being on stage & return to being as comfortable as I once was during a time when I was gigging at the same venue once a week. So house party, small house, not too many people there to see you screw up (in the event that you do)? This would be PERFECT lol...

After already agreeing to it, I came to learn that the guy who was throwing the party had no sound equipment for his party, so I would need to bring my own (which would be a first, as I still didn't have speaker stands & had never done a full gig with my sound equipment at that point). I also learned that he was not located in Phoenix but instead located in a suburb of Phoenix that was VERY far from where I lived (roughly 40-50 miles EACH WAY). Nonetheless, I stuck to the plan, & even ended up having to spend some money on extra cables that I didn't already have in stock (a purchase that was made at a Guitar Center en route). The last thing I ever want to do is end up in a situation where i’m coming out-of-pocket (in the form of finances &/or excessive gas) for a small event that I am NOT being paid for, but I digress... The neighborhood was confusing, & I ended up arriving later than planned. I got there only to find that there was another musician already set up. Although he was cordial & greeted me, he gave every visual indication that he did not want me using his equipment. I planned to use my own equipment from jump, yet he was taking up all of the available power outlets which would prevent me from doing so (I ended up lugging all my stuff inside anyways, for whatever silly reason). In the end, I realized that this other musician was very much into continuing his set in a "back-to-back"/"non-stop" manner, & the manager who got me into this situation did very little to help me resolve it. From there, I realized that I really didn't need to be there, at which point I ended up packing up & leaving. This would ultimately become my first bad impression of the manager as I should have been notified in advance that there would be another musician there (which would have saved me the gas, the money & the time). The point is to make sure your "artist" is set PRIOR TO the event & do everything in your power to ensure that they will have a seamless experience upon arrival. This did not happen, & although I forgave in the end, I would not forget.

In short, as much as I liked the new guy (we sat down TWICE, with him interviewing me the first time & ME interviewing HIM the second time), there were things that I just didn't like. For one, he had been working in "project management" with a very well-known company, but the company had absolutely nothing to do with the music business. In my grilling session (which took place a couple weeks after the "gig"), I asked him how long his management company had been up & running: He advised that it had been up & running for about 3 months (which forced me to wonder if this would be a good fit for someone like myself who has been doing music for nearly his entire life). I asked how many artists he currently had on the roster: He said 2-3. I asked him how many people were employed within his management company: He said it was just him (red flag: What if all of your artists have gigs in completely different areas during the same week [i.e. during the holidays] & each one needs you to be there? How can you single-handedly cater to all of them at once, which would be required since you’re the only person working within the management company?). Upon noticing "deal negotiations" as one of his skills listed on his website, I asked him how many deals he had negotiated for his artists & I inquired about the outcome of those negotiations: He said he hadn't negotiated any deals as of yet, at least for any of his artists... :-|... I did not want to pick him apart or tear him down, but I felt like it was VERY important for me to know what I might be getting myself into. This was not a joke or game to me, in other words, & by the end of this second meeting, I felt like there was a lack of experience on his end (which could very likely place me into a "guinea pig" situation all over again). With all of that (in addition to the "train-wreck" gig I was set up on), you'd think it would be an automatic "no" from me. But I liked his energy & I felt like he could be a DOPE manager if given the right opportunity. I also knew that I have always hated being judged (&/or "counted out") solely based on things that were not yet on my resume (i.e. artists that I have yet to work with, placements that I have yet to obtain, shows that I have yet to open for, etc.) & I felt that sometimes someone just needs that "break" in order to reach their full potential. So I told him I believed in him, I told him i'd like to give it a shot & we concluded this second meeting (still with no paperwork & with nothing written in stone). I'll get back to this “manager” situation in a second, because i'm not quite done yet (lol).

Shortly after this second meeting, I returned to Youtube following a long hiatus (hate being on camera, thanks to lifelong low self-esteem issues that i'm determined to overcome this year). This first video of the year was titled "CTD 2014" & became what would be the launch of "Chasin The Dream" which is a series of ongoing videos randomly documenting this entire process of turning my dreams into reality. I film scored for the first time in history, & it took forever. I couldn't figure out how to sync Adobe Premiere Pro CS6 with ProTools, so I had to do it the hard way. I had to just hit "play/stop" over & over once I had all my video clips lined up & hoped that everything fell in place correctly once I imported the audio from Protools into Premiere Pro. It really took a long time, but it came together in the end lol. I received some very positive feedback from some very kind people, which was the "pro" since the video was meant to inspire (among other things). The "con" was the fact that Youtube changed their entire system around since the last time I posted, so it’s much harder to find peoples videos & thus I didn't get many views (less than 1K as of 4/3/2014): Whatever, lol. The people who worry about that stuff are the same ones who think their debut album will go platinum based on how many subscribers they have lol. I can't speak for some other people I have come across in recent years, but my life has never revolved around Youtube nor do I want it to. Some things take time & it's not always about having the most "numbers" or being at the top of every list. Anyone with some sense knows that there are people in this world who have the most numbers/views/money/etc. but are struggling & completely miserable behind closed doors. So we won't focus too much on "numbers" because numbers aren’t always what they're cracked up to be (& shoot, nowadays many of those “numbers” you see on peoples accounts are PURCHASED lol)! The main goal with the video was to take the first step towards gradually getting back on Youtube, & from that standpoint it was a success. If all goes as planned, the next upload will contain much less talking & much more MUSIC (which is something i'm much better at compared to talking lol).

Getting back to the manager… There were a couple other incidents that took place before things could be finalized. He called me one day out the blue. At this point, WEEKS had gone by since our second meeting & I still had no paperwork from him (which was giving me more & more time to reconsider my decision of working with him). Nonetheless, I heard him out. He suggested for me to cover some song I had never heard of before. It was a rock/alternative song by a fairly popular rock band & he stated that he felt I should take a swing at re-doing it. One thing I found interesting was the fact that his other artists were "rock" artists & I would be his only "r&B/pop" artist at that point (if I were to sign up with him). I immediately began to wonder if maybe he was trying to prematurely "push" me in a direction I did not want to go in (aka- trying to "morph" me into an artist who works within the same genre as his other guys, so he can ultimately have a full roster of "rock" artists). It seemed like he was making other little “suggestions” here & there (suggestions that were basically identical to what his "flagship" artist was either doing or preparing to do), & I was not a fan of playing second fiddle to another artist who sounded the way his other artist sounded. Despite these thoughts, I heard him out, & being a guy who never turns down a musical challenge, I told him I would take a listen to the song at my earliest convenience.

I listened to the song later that night, & although I didn't enjoy the arrangement, I thought it was nice & I could see myself re-doing my own version as time allowed. Before I had a chance to cut the record &/or speak with him again, he texted me one afternoon stating "I guess you hated that song huh". As I was in the middle of a special project, my mind was far removed from anything pertaining to him, so I texted him back asking him what he was referring to. He then said "I texted you to ask how you liked the song & you never responded" (mind you, my phone is ratchet & I never received this supposed text message). At this point, I advised him that I never received the text & I suggested that he just pick up the phone & call me whenever I don't respond to a text (instead of assuming that i'm ignoring him). I then advised him that I felt the song was nice, even though it didn't "wow" me. He then asked me what version I listened to & I told him that I didn't know that there was more than one version. I listened to another version & felt the same way that I felt about the first version, but I knew that it might "grow" on me upon doing my own rendition: At this point, he texted a reply that really irritated me. He stated something along the lines of "You don't like it, no problem, I get it". I then jokingly advised him there WOULD be "problems" if he didn't stop putting words in my mouth: After this, he texted something along the lines of "No I get it, it's not a good fit for you, we'll find something else that works eventually". Now i'm sitting there looking at the phone like "Wow, I didn't even say it wasn't a 'good fit', nor did I say I 'hated it'. I just said the song didn't 'wow' me, yet this dude is drawing his own conclusions & not even giving me a chance to really speak on it". At this point, I was pretty much done.

First off, when you have someone "managing" your career, that person is often your SPOKESPERSON. That means, if you're in the studio, on tour, or in any other situation where you can't be at a certain place to handle certain things on your own, your MANAGER is the one who handles those things on your behalf. They ask questions on your behalf, they ANSWER questions on your behalf, & in some cases they even have power of attorney to SIGN PAPERWORK on your behalf. Although this incident was somewhat "minor"/small-scale, I was being VERY observant of him at this point (thanks to the last one who gave me nothing but headaches). I'm the type of person who almost always reviews every situation from a much larger perspective as a means of envisioning how that same type of situation might pan out if presented in a much larger/more critical format on down the line. In consideration of all the above, the last thing I need (especially at this critical point in my career) is to have someone on my team who is putting words in my mouth, jumping to conclusions (without knowing the facts) & saying things that I did not say (as they speak on my behalf). In order to prevent any of the above from occurring, your "manager" needs to know you like the back of their hand, which obviously can take some time. Outside of situations where you either (1) live with someone or (2) spend every other day around that person, you cannot possibly know EVERYTHING about them in a period of a few short months. It's just not possible, & expecting to know everything about someone outside of the two situations mentioned above is just not realistic. Nonetheless, you can use common sense & you can get by with the BASICS, but I just felt at this point that he didn't even remotely know me as a person or as an artist. Despite seeing my reaction first-hand, he still didn't know my pet peeves (i.e. the situation with the gig that had all these "surprises" once I arrived), he didn't know what I liked (i.e. the idea of people on my team being proactive), & he didn't know what I prefer to avoid (i.e. someone putting words in my mouth &/or jumping to conclusions). I ultimately felt like he didn't do his homework (aside from listening to a few of my tracks & taking a couple notes during our two meetings) & he was already misunderstanding me far too early in the game.

Upon closer observation, I felt like he didn't really want to put in the work & I was convinced that he would ultimately be the type of person who would somehow expect to just sit on the "sidelines" while I continued to make all of the "plays", & then come in during the last two minutes of the "game" & reap the benefits (i.e. a check) after doing as little work as possible. MIND YOU: When you have a solid/PROVEN track record for success within the field you are working in (as opposed to another field that has absolutely nothing to do with it), you have some leeway & can sometimes get away with stuff like that (within reason/based on how effective you are during those last two minutes of the “game”). But when you don't have that type of track record (i.e. situations where you are calling yourself a "manager" but you have not negotiated one deal to date & have only been up & running for all of 3 months or so), you have to A. work EXTRA hard, B. know that person you wish to represent & C. do your homework. It's like when you go on a job interview with a top-rated company: You can bet that one of the main things they're gonna do is ask you what you know about the company (so they can see just how serious you are about the progression of the company, above & beyond just getting a check). Granted, I never asked him what he knew about me in my grilling session, but I guessed that the answer would be revealed in time & at this point it was. Bottom line is that he didn't do his homework, & when you're coming up on the FOUR MONTH anniversary of your first interaction with someone you have expressed interest in representing, that's not a good look.

Weeks went on still with no paperwork, & I think he was expecting me to remind (&/or beg) him to send it. I easily could have done that, but I purposely didn't because I wanted to see if he knew how to close a deal. Despite my initial excitement in working with him (regardless of his obvious lack of experience within the music business), I felt at this point that he A. was over-consumed with his "flagship" artist who was ramping up for the release of his debut single &/or B. didn't know how to close a deal (despite his claims of "deal negotiations" on his website) & all of the above was a "deal-closer" in my case. You can be as nice as you want to be, but in this business, you need to know how to handle more than one thing at a time & you need to know how to close deals. If you can't adequately do either/or at this level, I can't expect that you will know how to do either/or at a far greater level. At this moment, I realized that God was most likely showing me that I needed to avoid him as far as us working together (despite the fact that he seemed like a great person who was very kind). As much as I initially felt like giving the working relationship a chance, I could no longer ignore the warning signs & I decided that all bets were off unless we spoke in detail very soon: We didn't speak again for weeks, I never received the paperwork, & by the beginning of March my decision was made.

Shortly after making my return to Youtube, one of my external hard drives failed in the middle of transferring some files. As luck would have it, the hard drive in question was the drive that contained ALL of my unreleased lyrics, many sessions, drum sounds & VST instruments. Data Recovery would be an option, so after purchasing another brand-new hard drive for them to transfer the recovered files to, I sent both drives off to the one place that I have worked with before. They have 3 pricing "tiers", with the first tier costing up to $400, the second tier costing up to $650 & the 3rd tier costing up to $1,500. Anyone who knows me knows that when it rains it pours, so they emailed me with the bad news & I learned that my issue would fall under the top ranks of tier 3 ($1,500). The first time I worked with them, it was roughly $500-600 (which is still painful but not NEARLY as painful as $1,500). Needless to say, I immediately paid the return shipping fee & got my hard drive back. After going through this SEVERAL times to date with my "mechanical" hard drives, my ultimate goal is to have ALL my drives in "SSD" format, which removes all of the moving parts that are found in your standard "mechanical" hard drives, & thus makes the drive as close to "fail-proof" as possible. I'm not talking about those "hybrid" SSD drives either (which combine an "SSD" drive with a "mechanical" one): I mean 100% SSD, so there are ZERO moving parts on ANY of my hard drives. That's the ultimate goal, but the problem is that "SSD" format drives are yet still RIDICULOUSLY expensive, & for the amount of space I need, I would be spending thousands of dollars if I went the "all ssd" route right now. So until I release a hit album/single or win the lotto, i'll have to continue riding it out with mechanical hard drives for now (aside from my OS drive, which is a moderately-sized SSD). Nonetheless, this situation has had me at a standstill as I have MANY upon MANY critical files on that crashed drive that deal completely with music creation. For this reason, the next step will be to send it off to another company who gave me a flat rate that was less than half the amount the other place wanted to charge. I will pray that they can successfully recover my files & transfer them to the new drive. Once some dust settles, i'll be sending the drive off to them with fingers crossed LIKE NEVER BEFORE.

As we moved into the later part of the first quarter, I was approached online & invited to take part in a show at Joe's Grotto (which was a music venue I had heard of but never been to). On the same day I was invited, I asked (specifically) if I would be personally responsible for A. selling tickets &/or B. bringing a huge entourage of people with me who will stay all night & buy drinks (neither of which are my strong suits, at least at this time). I asked this so that I would know in advance & would be able to opt out in advance, instead of agreeing to do the show then looking like a "diva" when I opt out after the fact. My question was diverted initially, & this probably should have been a red flag, but at that time my contact for the event was being very friendly/cordial. So I guess you can say it caused me to let down my "guard" a bit & allow some things to slide that I normally would not.

Shortly after the fact (after I all but started giving out dates for the event so that people could plan ahead), I was contacted again & advised that they would be doing a different event instead (on a different date, same venue). Yet another red flag, but I took it with a grain of salt. From there, I realized that this would be just like most other events where someone who is booking "shows" approaches you, says they would like you to be in it, then has you running around the streets trying to sell tickets to people you don't even know (unless you are lucky enough to have a big family &/or a HUGE circle of friends in your area who will all come out & support anything you do). Aside from my other relatives who all live on the other side of the country, it’s my mom, dad & me, & mom/dad rarely seem to make it to anything I do anyway. All things considered, the thought of doing ticket sales always made me nervous, because knowing myself better than anyone else, I knew that this (SALES in general, to be honest) was not something I was best at. How do the people i'm selling tickets to even know that the event is legit, especially when the venue doesn't even have the event listed on their website/calendar??? How can I expect them to buy tickets when they don't even know who is performing in the show besides myself??? These were all questions I asked in this situation, but for whatever reason, I decided that I would give it a shot this time since I had always passed each time before & Y.O.L.O. is such a true statement. In the end, the event was a far cry from the success that I had hoped for.

I scheduled a time to drive over to the office location of the place that was putting on the event so that I could pick up the tickets that I would be selling. After the long drive (their office is way on the other side of town, near my old neighborhood), I arrived & the guy running the event was acting as if the world revolved around him. He was rude, talking on his phone as both I & another person waited on him to finish so we could collect our tickets & bounce. There was a pit bull running around in the parking lot with a stick in its mouth. There was a $20 non-refundable deposit required for the tickets, & even though you could make a percentage back based on how many you sold, I was not a fan of this. The guy running the event said he would email out custom flyers, I waited & waited for mine & I seemingly was the last person to receive mine (thus I was basically the last artist who could adequately promote the fact that he was taking part in the event). By the day of the show, I had sold fewer tickets than I had hoped & lost money as a result. Nonetheless, this was my first show in a while & a point of transition coming out of Corporate America, so I didn't beat myself up over it. Despite advising (on the day that I picked up tickets) that I wished to use my own wireless mic that fit my voice, I arrived at sound check & the guy running the event wanted to be difficult as if he had no clue I would be bringing it. Despite them telling me weeks prior that they did not work that great, I eventually decided I would use the (wired) in-house mics, & I never quite got the sound I wanted in the monitors (which even the amateur performer knows can make or break almost any live performance). Disappointed yet determined to make the best of the situation, I left sound check to get the rest of my wardrobe, then I came back just before showtime.

As I walked in, some people who bought tickets from me were leaving (ironically the manager & his wife) & when I asked why, they advised that they were told to get up after sitting at a reserved table. The thing is, I was told there would be $30 table reservations & I reserved one of my own over the phone weeks ago. But they wouldn’t collect payment until you returned for the start of the event, they didn't put names on the tables prior to each person’s arrival, & they also didn't mention the fact that every single table (and SEAT) in the place would be by reservation only (aside from the seats located at the bar, which were already full). Even though I already had 3 people with me (each table seated 4), I would have tried to work something out. But wifey looked upset, I realized that they were definitely not feelin the situation & I wasn't about to stand at the door begging them to stay. In the end, I felt horrible that people who bought tickets to see me perform were treated so rudely by the people who were running the show (in addition to the people who worked for the venue). I felt like it made a bad impression on me & words cannot express how upset this made me. The rudeness continued on through the night (with some people at my table being on the receiving end [along with myself]). Once all was said & done, all of the mess had an adverse effect on my performance, & I can honestly say that this was one of the worst, most disappointing experiences of my entire life. I worked my tail off for WEEKS non-stop to ensure that my segment would be a success, & there are no words to describe how disappointing it was to see all of that hard work go down the drain due to the ignorance of one person. Even with it being the absolute mess that it was, the event was most certainly a humbling/eye-opening experience that I will never forget.

A couple days prior to the show, mom called & advised me that my first cousin died. My initial reaction was shock, but as the days went on this was followed by great sadness as he did music just as I do & we both were kinda on the same page albeit from afar. We had spoken of collaborating before but nothing materialized. Technical difficulties, scheduling, etc. It was always something, & now the collaboration would never happen. More than anything, I just wished we had been able to spend more time around one another, but with us growing up in different parts of the country with limited funds for traveling, it was tough. I just became very sad over this, yet even in this time where I hadn't even began the process of mourning, I absolutely wanted to give a good show in his memory as I knew that this is what he would want me to do. Sadly I was unable to do my best after everything that had taken place, but my goal is to make up for it as the year carries on. It was Gods will that I was able to make it to my cousin’s funeral & it was a life-changing experience. They had me sing at the funeral, & although I gave it my best effort, emotions nearly got the best of me by the time I got to the mic. I had never attended a family member’s funeral (much less SANG at one), thus I had no clue how difficult it would be. Sometimes it takes losing someone to finally grasp the fact that tomorrow is not promised. Sometimes it hits so close to home, & losing my cousin was a very real reminder that you should treat everyone with the same love you would like to receive. By the time the funeral service was over, I realized how strong my extended family is, their strength helped me get through that time & I just fell in love with them. I really did. From that point it was almost as if a new chapter opened up in my life & I was determined to do everything in my power to stay connected with them as much as possible going forward (in spite of the distance between us &/or the lack of travel funds). And please don't get me started on the FOOD they had afterwards. LAWD lol if nothing else could have made me feel better, the food did it! By the time I got back on that flight, I had a new outlook on life & I was determined to continue the process of pursuing my dreams, in memory of my cousin if nothing else.

As luck would have it, my very first official single to be sold digitally was set to be released the very same day that my cousin’s funeral took place. This ended up becoming yet another learning experience, which in all honesty was my primary goal (with it being an arrangement of "The Star-Spangled Banner"). Although I put my ALL into this project, this would be like a "test-run", giving me a good run-thru of the process so I can be familiar once I start working on my debut album. After all, I said if I screw up anywhere in this process, let it be with something OTHER THAN my debut album. So that was how I looked at it: Figure out where I stand, what works, what doesn't, which promotion method is worth the money, which one isn't, who will come thru & support, who won't, how much everything will cost in total, etc. I made it very clear that I wanted an email blast to go out on the morning the single became available for sale: It instead went out the next day, around 12:55PM, at a time when most people were more than likely rushing back to work from lunch. Not what I wanted, & even after paying for the service & providing the majority of necessary "email blast" information over a week in advance, I still found myself having to place several telephone calls (while I was still out of town) just to get the email sent out. In situations like this, you make a mental note as to what you will do differently next time & I most certainly did that in this case lol. At the end of the day however, my main goal was to have SOMETHING up on iTunes by the end of the first quarter, & with it ultimately being up on 3/25/2014, I can happily say that I reached that goal once & for all.

Altogether, there were ups & downs. It wasn't easy, but I think it's safe to say that this first quarter of 2014 was mostly a success. I am honored to say that I have also remained in the "top 10" on the local Reverbnation "R&B" charts ever since I entered the top 10 back in 2013 (& even hit #1 for a few consecutive days in December with no promo). As mentioned, numbers aren't everything & I NEVER want to be in a place where I focus too much attention on them. But to pull that off even with all of the technical difficulties/hardships I have experienced as of late is something I feel I can be proud of. The only other negatives (or "cons") came by way of my realization that I had some people in my life (some of which I have known for YEARS) who were disguised as "friends", only to be revealed as the opposite by the end of the first quarter of this year. This honestly wasn't the worst thing, however, because sometimes it takes certain situations to show you peoples true colors & i'd rather see people’s true colors NOW than later. So in the end, I can't really call it a "con" at all, because it saved me some time/stress in the long run. At the end of the day, I want people around me that are genuine/sincere & have my best interests at heart. I don't want people around me that are opportunists, &/or phony, &/or there for all the wrong reasons: In other words, GOOD RIDDANCE lol. All jokes aside, i've seen people come & go in & out of my life so much at this point that I have grown used to it. It doesn't surprise me, in other words, & I now realize that there are some people who will be nothing more than "seasonal". Enjoy them as you see fit, then when it is time for them to go, they will be gone. I have learned that this is how I have to look at people, & it used to be hurtful, but not anymore because i've had so much practice (& you know what they say about practice). Regardless, I know that God answers prayer & in knowing this, I trust & believe that God is slowly but surely positioning me to finally be surrounded by nothing less than genuine/sincere people who have my best interests at heart. Needless to say, this will truly be a blessing as I move forward in this journey called life.

I try so hard not to sound "churchy", but God has been so good even through everything I have dealt with. He has blessed me with things that so many of us take for granted, he has kept me from dangers both seen & unseen, & through it all he has given me the will to keep going. Losing my cousin so suddenly reminded me that tomorrow is not promised, & when I saw him in that casket, I walked away in tears promising myself that I would live each day like it was my last (because you never know when it might be)! Aside from my birthday which is rapidly approaching, I don't know what's in store for this second quarter. I have some definite goals set for myself & only time will tell what i'm able to pull off by the end of this period of time. As much as I love creating music, I honestly don't even know what my purpose is at this point & I often find myself praying that the Lord will soon reveal it (it gets to a point where some things take so long & you begin to question where you're at in life). I don't know what will happen & what will not, but I DO know this: I'm takin it 1-day-at-a-time at this point, i'm continuing to work HARD & i'm truly excited to see how everything unfolds: TO BE CONTINUED...

-B

#ripjoshuacurtisarrington #gonnamakeuproud